


We Are Drowning

by CommedianFlag, HitTheWall



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alcohol, Character Death, Humanstuck, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Sadstuck, Suicide, Underage Drinking, a little ooc, actually, all characters are 17 or 18, some don't, some headcanons, some things get better, there is a lot underage things
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-05 19:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13394412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CommedianFlag/pseuds/CommedianFlag, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HitTheWall/pseuds/HitTheWall
Summary: They started this game to die. They continue playing to live.(Or something like this)





	1. Aradia Megido

Aradia was sick of it. Whatever was happening, it didn't matter to her anymore. Grades, hobbies, mother, sister - it was no longer a bother of her's. Sick, sick, sick from all of it.  
So tired.  
Numb.  
The girl held her phone in her arm. Her grasp was weak, so the cheap smartphone was at great risk of being dropped. But this too didn't matter. Because dead people didn't need phones.  
Aradia's veins felt like being filled with glue. Rust covered her arms, legs, whole torso.  
Only her head was clear. And it was filled with only one, ringing thought.  
==> Send the text, girl.  
The screen confirmed that message had been delivered. No turning back. Not like it mattered anyway. Not before, not now.  
The girl continued to stare at the cracked screen. It's light reflected in her eyes, as in a mirror or an Icy surface. The phone was the only source of dim light, which illuminated the surroundings softly. There wasn't much to pick up on in the room. After all, Aradia has already handed all she could out. Because, again:  
Deadmen had no need for things. Or so she thought.  
As a kid, Aradia read about great rulers and warriors being burried with their armour, money, even with their loyal servants. Well, last ones weren't exactly asked. They just were killed to join their masters in death. No choice was given to them. Aradia could really relate to this.  
But, unlike those legendary figures, who had their names written all over the pages of history books, Aradia has done nothing to have a privilege of being joined in death.  
But she still had a tiny bit of hope, lingering at the back of her mind. Behind her glassy eyes and pale lips, pressed in a thin line.  
That's why she sent this message.  
It was shameful to admit, but Aradia was so weak she needed company for suicide.  
Suicide.  
Death.  
It didn't sound so bad as it did before.  
When she still remembered what joy was and how happiness felt.  
These two words rolled so easily on her tongue. Sometimes, when alone, she talked. Talked about these words with no one, not really expecting an answer. Such conversations were the best. No stupidity, ignorance or hypocrisy.  
Dead can't talk nonsense.  
That was another nice aspect of death. Coming to think about this, death had so many advantages.  
Like you don't feel tiny insects crawling under your skin.  
Or sore bones cracking under your bodyweight.  
Or chest being squeezed from the inside.  
All duties are gone, mind left in piece.  
No more disappointed glares. No more frustrated sighs...  
The girl's thoughts were interrupted by quiet buzzing, which in the silent room felt like a thunderstorm strike.  
The phone's screen showed one new message.  
With sweating hands, Aradia opened the dialogue. In bright green letters text said:  
"Hello, apocalypseArisen, and welcome to the SGRUB!"


	2. Tavros Nitram

Tavros was sitting nervously in his wheelchair in the corner of the room. Things had escalated too quickly for his own tastes. So the boy needed some time to calm down and get to his senses. Meanwhile, in the middle of a small warehouse where " _the group_ " was gathered, an angry looking, but too small to actually look threatening, boy was having a major fight with a tall blonde girl. She was really pretty - blue eyes and a cocky grin, mocking her opponent, who, despite being furious, still hadn't actually physically hurt the girl. Though he looked really close to committing something he would regret later.

 

"You think it's funny, bitch? Well then, hate to ruin it for you - IT'S NOT!" - The loud and raspy voice cut the air raw.

"Oh, I do think it's funny. A bunch of losers gathered together in one area to play victims, hurt by the world! It's so hilarious, I wonder how nobody's laughing" The blonde let out a sharp chuckle. Her opponent seemed to get even angrier, to the point of his face becoming red. An even taller girl was by his side, holding his elbow, preventing him from rushing out and making mistakes.

 

"Enough, Karkat. Her ignorance and callousness should remain her problem. Not yours"  She moved her hand to his shoulder in a calming manner. The boy - Karkat - didn't visibly changed his posture. Though his facial expression softened a bit. After a couple of minutes, he finally relaxed and turned away from the offender.

"Fine"  He spat and moved from the center of the room to lean on the nearest wall. From this position he could fully observe everyone in the room.

The remaining girl didn't seem to be offended by the last remark. She was still grinning victoriously.  
"Wow, touchе́, boy. Hurt ya feelings? Just gonna crawl into an emo corner now? Why quit now, I'm a nice person, you know. Come here, I'll even help  you to kill your pathetic self, isn't it what you wanted?" -  the blonde was interrupted by yet another girl.

"Vriska, knock it off. I've already had enough of your shit in my school years. Just let me play the goddamn game in peace, spill your bullshit somewhere else" - The girl in bright red glasses calmly told the mean one.

"Terezi" - Vriska's eyes widened a bit behind the glasses.  
Terezi's expression wasn't visible behind exuding accessory.  She was accusingly holding a candy-red cane to, assuming to be, her past classmate.  
  
"Long time no see" - continued the blonde - " Oh, pardon me, how could I bee so insensitive. You can't see now, can you"

"Serket" - Vriska listened attentively to the other girl, probably waiting for a comeback, but all she got was - "Fuck off"  
These words had wiped off the evil, yet charming grin from the girl's face, expression in seconds turning annoyed.

"Yeah, whatever"

 

 

 

Vriska moved from the center of the room to an old, yet high-quality couch, where a boy with an old PSP console was resting, cross-legged and completely ignoring his surroundings. She sat near, ignoring the quite murmurs of others.

 

 

Tavros suddenly felt like it got even hotter in the room. The place was small, it seemed like all oxygen had disappeared suddenly.  
Vriska Serket.  
He knew this name. Knew it too well, unfortunately.  
His arms started to tremble and it was getting hotter and harder to breathe with each second. Cold sweat was rolling down his back.  
Vriska Serket.  
**"Apologize!** \- a voice echoed in his brain.  
**"You want me to apologize for being disabled?"**  
**"Yes"**  
Like a flash, memories instantly flooded Tavros' thoughts.  
**"Fly, Puppa, fly!"** \- Strong push, the rush of air, then darkness. And pain, pain, painpainpain–  
"Hey, bro, you okay?"  
  
  
Tavros felt something cold and heaving his shoulder. He couldn't hold back a flinch. Oxygen. He needed to breathe. Black spots started to form in front of him, blocking the vision. Everything hurt and it was just too much, too much–

"Dude, you're hyperventilating!" - a slightly worried voice croaked. The weight on his shoulder (was it stranger's hand?) Moved to his back and started rubbing in soothing circles. - "Now, listen, motherfucker. Look at me, hey, do you hear me?"  
Tavros couldn't see anymore - everything was a fading into a blur of white, gray and black.  
" Listen to my voice and count to ten, buddy. C'mon, one, two..."

 

Tavros tried concentrating on the numbers. Three, four...  
"Nine, ten and there we go again. Breathe. Slow and steady, c'mon. Now, inhale, exhale, continue, you are rockin' it"

In two minutes of doing what he was told, Tavros felt much better. The air had finally reached his lungs and the boy could breathe again. His vision had cleared though the trembling hadn't stopped yet. Still feeling nauseous and weak, Tavros eyed his savior shyly.  
Messy hair facing every direction possible, white and gray mask. Or was it makeup? Eyes with long, thick eyelashes were beaming at him with such fondness, Tavros couldn't help but blush and hide his gaze, cheeks turning red. What was that gaze for?

 

"Th... Thanks. For helping me, I mean - his voice broke at the last words. - And sorry, I thought my panic attacks were long gone..."

"No broblemo, friend, glad you got better. Here, take this" - he handed Tavros something small and purple. - "It's a small miracle. Sweet and nice as single mom in her thirties"

 

 

 

The last statement was confusing, but Tavros let it slide. He was given a candy by a handsome... Eh, he meant cool, yes, cool guy. It truly _was_ a miracle, considering he rarely talked with anyone besides teachers or dad... Or Rufioh. His brother counted too, right? Even though they barely actually spoke. So that felt really nice, yeah.

"Something big going on? These guys are makin' a motherfuckin' fuss"  
The stranger was right. The room was full of loud voices and movement. Now it was less surprising that nobody noticed his freak out. Well, it wasn't like people actually helped Tavros with panic attacks before. Not all even knew what those were. But...  
Tavros glanced at a spaced out boy near him.  
Immediately something warm bloomed in his chest. Like the rays of sunshine were hugging his ribs.  
Unfortunately, Tavros knew this feeling too well. Attraction. Shit.  
"Oh, somehow I forgot that" - the stranger let out a cracked chuckle - "I'm Gamzee by the way. It's nice to motherfucking meet you, little friend" - right, names, he fully forgot about these.

"Tavros. Tavros Nitram. Or, ehm, adiosToreador in the chat if you remember... Eh, well, it's not like I wrote much there so, not surprising if you don't. Are you terminallyCapricious?" Fuck, that was said too fast. Now he seemed awkward and maybe he shouldn't have guessed the handle? Shit.

"Woah,  friend, you are frickin' on point there! Isn't it a miracle you guessed it this fast?"

 

 

Tavros didn't know what was the deal with Gamzee and miracles. Maybe he would ask about it later. Now something other than bickering was happening with the group. A loud crash like thunder had cut the quiet arguing he was hearing before. This made him turn his attention to the quickly aggravating events in the center of the room.  
Apparently, Vriska wasn't done with her performance. She now was laying on her back on the floor, hair in a mess, glasses smashed near her. On top of her another girl was sitting, gray skirt hiked a little, but still enough to show the prosthetic leg. Long, thick red hair covered her eyes. One arm was raised for the punch.  
Tavros' winced when that arm went on for a punch, a disgusting cracking noise filling the warehouse. Then another came. And again, and again.

 

At that point others realized what was happening. The first to react was a huge guy with black straight hair, eyes hidden behind cracked shades.

"That is such an unacceptable behavior for a young miss. You should stop this instant" - with these words he had grabbed the aggressively attacking girl, dragging her away from her bloody victim. While being dragged, the girl managed to land a few hits on her offender. To his credit, he didn't let go once, just looked extremely taken aback and then uncomfortable, still holding now a calmer girl.

 

 

"Vriska goddamn Serket. I swear,I'll make you pay. And even if I die, I will come back to haunt you, to make you suffer and to see these blue eyes fill up with desperate tears."

"Woah, woah. Let's all calm down a little. That is not the first impression we all want to leave, do we?" - The gentle, yet confident voice of the tan-skinned girl in a flashy multicolored skirt had interrupted the full of cold fury monologue of the red-head.

"D-don't bother, Fef. These loud imbeciles are clueless about how to behave properly in the presence of the high-status..." - The guy in hipster glasses was too cut off by the commanding voice.

"Yes, Eridan, yes. I understand what you're implying, but for now, please, abstain from your almighty persona and don't make more people hate you" - she signed, crossing her arms on her chest.

 

Meanwhile, the aggressive girl had relaxed in the huge arms, which in a few seconds let her go, in most a jolting motion.  
"Sorry, big guy. I don't think I hurt you, but I almost feel ashamed for trying. I'm Aradia Megido and I won't calm down, until I make Serket's life a living hell" - the redhead has turned away from her bleeding victim, dead gray eyes fixed on nothing in front of her.

 

 

Suddenly, Tavros felt oh so familiar tugging feeling in his chest. Before he could stop himself, he blurted:  
"Ara..?" - Aradia's eyes widened, something sparkled in them for a second before she turned her gaze to the boy in a wheelchair.

"...Tav?" - the disbelief in her voice made Tavros' heart clench a little. How could he forget a face of once dearest friend of his? Sure, after the accident 6 years ago he hasn't contacted her because of his helicopter dad, but he really, really tried before finally giving this relationship up and moving on. The memories flooded his mind instantly and, before he could say anything else, he was crushed in the tightest and warmest hug he had experienced in years. It took him a second to wrap Aradia's back in response and bury his tearing up eyes in the mess of red hair which smelled like dust and cinnamon.  
Somebody in the room let out a whistle. It made Tavros jump, but he didn't let go. Now he never wanted to let go.

"Jeez, I can't believe this shitty soap opera is happening right now. It's so sweet I think my teeth are rotting. How did you even make her do this?" Karkat croaked from his corner.

 

After a few seconds of silence he continued, sounding less sure:  
"Eh, I meant, that emotion thing. I've been in one class with her for almost three years for now. And the most emotion she has ever expressed within this time was blinking"

Tavros' heart skipped a beat. He was joking right? He never knew what happened to Ara after this cursed night. His dad had only told him about the crash, nothing more. What if there was brain damage? Or nerves? Or... What else could get screwed? He didn't pay enough attention at his biology class after he started failing it. Because, you know, being in a coma for a month didn't help his grades at all. After it he just. Just gave up. Like he always did. Like he gave up his best friend.  
Tavros has tightened his arms around Aradia.

"Ara, I'm so sorry, I swear, I tried contacting you. I searched everything I could as soon as I was out of the hospital. I even tried..."

"Shh, it's fine, Tav, it's fine. I'm so, so happy to see you here. It surely is the best day of this past six years" She said, finally letting go of him. The instant loss of warmth made Tavros shiver. Or maybe it was tears which made him tremble, he didn't know anymore.

He knew only that maybe, just maybe, he could be happy again.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi  
> This is my first published work  
> I would be glad to see your comments. Constructive criticism is welcome


End file.
